Ragged....

what is a piece of ragged cloth to you?....a valuable piece of cloth that served its purpose and now its worn and torn?...a piece of useless junk that you can discard it whenever you feel like it?....the same concept is applied in life....there are those that only treat that piece of junk as something valuable when they need to clean a dirty table or a chair...if not it would just be a worthless piece of cloth to them....so to clarify things....im a piece of ragged cloth where you only appreciate me when you need it...otherwise you will just ignore and discard me at a corner with no concern about my feelings at all....so...FUCK YOU....oOo.....

Friends - birthday post...

friends...a word that is made out of 7 simple alphabets...yet there is an extraordinary meaning behind this 7 alphabet word...we might not realize it but we have learned the meaning of the word since young...we categorize people whom we like and people whom we dont like...you...the girl who is cute...you are my friend....come play with me....but you...the one that suck your finger...its disgusting...you are not my friend..you dont get to play hide and seek with me...as we grow older...we come to realize that friendship is not as simple as that..it requires effort...in fact...tons of endless effort....that needs time..and you need to pour yourself into it for it to grow...and as we grow older..we see different friends come and go...we learn the boundary of friendship...we came to realize how far would my suppose bff go for me?...do you even draw a line of intimacy between two friends?....how do you keep it going for ever?...i would love to have these answers..and i would be a very wise man if i could take the answers and apply them to my life....but sadly...im baffled when it comes to questions like that....where do you place your friends on the scale of priorities?...behind the girlfriend?..in front of the family?...equal to all your friends?....a step above your academics?...you decide...and you tell me..what is more important to you....but for me..i will tell you that friends are in front of the family...a step above academics...and equal standing to a girl...however im no saint...im biased...i put my all friends on a different scale...i do not treat them equally..there are definitely those that matters...and there are definitely those that i would go an extra mile for....and i believe that this holds true for almost everyone...you cant treat everyone equally...at some point there will be those that you favor more compare to others...and those that you treat as bff...do they treat you the same?...or are you just a fool who got tricked to do their bidding...its a scary truth...those of us that are lucky got the better of friendship and they found their bff who would go as far as they could for them...and those of us that are unlucky...got tricked and fooled....and all thats left was nothing but a pool of despair and anger.....i am a very blunt person..brute perhaps...but its something that i find pride in....over the years id say that ive become more tactful...more diplomatic about confrontations...but there is stil an element of the harshness that dictate my way of speech and words...those who understand me will know that i wouldnt use that harshness unless i cared...those that are unworthy of my time..i would not have bothered to make you feel terrible about the way you have been....some might say that its cruel...and its not the right way to go about things...but then..all the more reason to show that i care..dont i?
i try to be a good friend..or the perfect friend so to speak...one who is understanding..one who stays in the shadow to support you...but as with all things in life...doing the right things is often harder than doing the wrong things...it is easier to get angry than to be patient when they annoy you...or when they dont reply your text..msn...o even phone calls....it is easier to be expectant than to be selfless...there will always be a part of you that hope what you did before will be rewarded....and we will fail...we will fall harder than before...despite our good intentions...we will be misjudged...and we will be forsaken....in story books or movies...the ending usually portrays a character who gives up his life or something important to him for someone else...and the script writer often focus on the fact that the person he gives his life to never reward him or gives him the appreciation he deserves...and the character would be ok with it...tragic?...very much so...and i often ask myself..would i be able to do that?..will i be able to be the friend that goes on loving..that goes on supporting even when the friend you are loving and supporting push you away..and blame you for their shortcomings....will i be able to be the friend that never utter a word of retaliation when the friend that you give up everything for lashes back and hurts you?....until this moment i hope to be...but sadly..im not...but that is a friend that i hope to become...i know im not there yet...but i will try my very best...
this post was meant to be a birthday greetings for someone that matters....so before this post turned into an emo post or an angry post...i shall pause and take a moment to say that...i might have wrong you in the past without noticing it...for that im sorry...but i will not apologize for being blunt and brute as you might call me...cause i am who i am..and i cared...but i dont mind you nudging me so that i would not stray off the righteous path..now its to give thanks and say that im glad that you were born today....you might not be the perfect friend..but i will say that you are halfway there....so this is from me..all the best...and happy birthday....

Lies...

lies....its the opposite of truth....the people around us...how many of them are really truthful and how many of them are just hoax ...i believe its a question with no definite answer....reason being some people are fantastic liars and no one could tell whether he is lying or being truthful....
yes...its undeniable that there are white lies and lies out there...some might say its ok to lie once in a while to slide through stuff..some might disagree cause lying is wrong no matter what you say...a lie is a lie....personally..i would agree with both...lying is wrong no matter what...a lie is a lie..but sometimes u just need that small white lie to get through stuff...but what happens when you lie and someone else caught you doing so...you just have to tell more lies to cover up your previous lies?....aint that kinda ridiculous....the lies would snowball and at the end..there is someone that is bound to be HURT....instead of telling more lies...why cant they just admit and confess they lied when they were caught..wont that solve all the problem?....its as simple as that...yes..some might be afraid to tell the truth...cause the truth is hard...in general..everything that is righteous is hard...and its not that hard when you start...its as simple as that...confess....there is no need for more lies...but when you thought of it in a deeper manner...why would they lie in the first place...i believe this is a question that only the liar can answer....is it because they are afraid to let other people know that they broke a promise?....is it because they are afraid that people might find out they are nothing but a hoax?....is it because of bad influence?..is it because they are afraid that when you find out...they can no longer manipulate you to get stuff that they want?....its a scary thought....until this instant you do not know they people you are with are genuine or not...lies...its something that is not tolerable no matter what....the only way you can gain retribution from a lie is by telling the truth...

Xmas Play...

yes..i know..it has been a while...but im double posting to make up for the long absence....went to see the CF's play earlier today...or i should say yesterday by the time im done writing this post....it was magnificent as always..there were a few flaws here and there...but im not going to complain..cause none of us are professional actors...they are just a bunch of multi talented students that gave up their precious time to do that play and entertain the crowd...so two thumbs up for them...i must say it was a really good play...the best actor award i would give it to the dad...somehow he is a good actor and he has a great voice...he pronounce english words with a very nice slang and he can really sing...so i think he deserve an award....now for best actress..i would say the matron...reason why she deserves this is because she manage to pull off her character flawlessly...she played an antagonist character in the play..and its not easy to pull off an antagonist character...and like the best actor..she can really sing...haha..seriously CF deserves a round of applause...they manage to find so many talents....XD....and if there was also a best line award..i would say the best line in the play..the line which i remembered the most was in one of the parody of taylor swift's song they did...he wears slippers and i wear leather..that got me drop dead laughing.....overall..it was a successful play...i might even say successful is abit underated....hehe...well...i must thank shaun for the awesome company earlier...XD...and hopfully you can make up your mind soon enough...

-Josh-

Everything that matters...

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That is leading me
To the place where
I find peace again
You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me
How could it be
Any better than this

You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
And you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper now

And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me
How could it be
Any better than this


-Josh-

Cloud 9...

cloud 9...that is the term that best describe what i feel right now...i just feel so great...thanks to the pillar...haha...i guess only the pillar would understand when he reads this...i would still prefer to call him pole..but he insisted that he is a pillar...it was a pleasant weekend with a lot of unexpected twist..but somehow everything turned out way better than ok..in fact..everything turned out to be great...it was some quality time spent...there are many things that we cant do...for example both of us cant write a 1119 standard essay..but i guess what it matters is that we really did pour our all in it..i guess that is the reason why it feels so great....everything is so genuine...it is something that would last a lifetime...so..thanks for everything....my own support pillar..XD.....

Changes....

changes...everyone experience changes...your friends...your family..your love ones...your enemies...even strangers that you dont know....its a phase that everyone would go through...but whether one changes for the better or for the worse is a whole different story....as far as i can recall...people around me are changing constantly..but are they the ones who are changing...or am i?....

Rant Rant Rant..........

im beat....there is just way too much things on my plate right now..why cant people be more efficient...they just have to take their own sweet time and do things in their own snail like pace...well..guess what..it aint working!...its not that i want to be the bad guy or what..but just so you know...we have a due date....and im not the one setting the due date...so dont blame me if im being mean or im flaming anyone..there is just so much that one can tolerate to slackness....so suck it up..and be more productive...

Voca People....

with a blink of an eye..im already in week 3 of my second trimester....assignments are starting to pile up....and midterms are drawing nearer..i guess its time to get serious too...no more fooling around...anyway..this post is not about assignments or midterm...im just here to promote something that i fell in love with...haha...i know..i might be kinda late to post this now..but heck..i saw them on youtube and i fell in love instantly...once you watch the video you will get wat i meant...so enjoy...ahhh..im in love~~

My Top 5 Treat List

i was surfing and i saw this amazing ad about the Inspiron 13 from Dell...so i decided to take part in this once in a lifetime chance to post about my TOP 5 treat list.....here goes...

1) i wish i could treat myself to a perfect get away in Hawaii with all my friends and if i have the Inspiron 13 i can blog about it instantly in Hawaii without the need of finding a pc or carrying my bulky desktop......

2)i would treat myself to a full day spa treatment so that i can take a step back and enjoy life...and hopefully after the treatment i would look as sleek as the Inspiron 13...XD

3)next i would treat myself to shop with no budget constraint for a day...it would be so cool if i could just buy everything that i like....

4)after shopping who could resist a good meal...therefore i would treat myself to a all you can eat buffet with all kinds of food...chinese..indian...malay...koeron..japanese and etc type of food...

5)last but not least i would treat myself to an Inspiron 13 from Dell....why not treat myself a laptop seeing that i actually need a laptop for my studies and i still havent own a laptop yet..so why not an Inspiron 13....

Money...

money seem to be the issue with everyone lately...for some unknown reason everyone is almost broke...haha..i guess its the beginning of the semester and everyone is still very free and in the holiday mood...so everyone is going out alot and splurging uncontrollably...well..its time to control the expenditure or else we will just be eating bread for the rest of the month...T.T....so this is just a reminder...spend wisely...haha...but i myself is going broke...T.T...going to declare bankruptcy soon...zzz

Joshy

Bored and Random...

there is just so much on my mind right now...there is just so much to do...but somehow my body just wont move whenever i command it to finish up the pile of work i have on my hands....in other words..im just LAZY...i would prefer lazing around doing nothing and just stare blankly into my screen....sometimes its just sad and pathetic...i need help...someone please kidnap me from home and bring me out!....i need a breath of fresh air....i guess my life is pretty dull since i got nothing much to update about lately....i guess thats all for now..im only updating cause im just way too bored...hopefully theres more next time...toodles...

Trust and Respect...

well this is just a random post...i find that people who made you coffee will earn your respect more than people who buy you coffee....respect and trust is something that is earned....so people who is genuine and prove themselves worthy will often gain one's respect and trust....you cant demand trust nor respect...therefore those that already earned that privilege...keep it sacred and never betray that circle of trust....this is only how a friendship will grow...

Fishy

Loneliness...

loneliness...

the world's most cruel method of torture ever....here i am...sitting in my dark room with nothing else except my desktop in front of me..but i have nothing to do...and no one to talk to...its rather sad actually...despite the fact that i have some matters up in my mind..i have no one to share them with...after some serious consideration of who to text and all..i just notice..i have NO ONE....all that im capable of doing is to count the letters of loneliness....pronounce the word...enunciate it...stress the syllables..and feel them roll off your tongue....

how do you describe it..hmm...the feeling of you against the whole world...i dont know how to describe them in the simple form of words..but all i can say is that its a strong feeling...a strong feeling of uneasiness that can cause any ordinary man to crumble in its presence...im an ordinary man that is struggling..trying not to give in to the malicious loneliness..but somehow today i was defeated...i lost the battle to this loneliness and im forced to deal with the consequences...when it appears victorious...loneliness brags and boast about its victory...and when it does...it feels like a heavy weight has just been dropped on top of your chest...you feel that its very difficult to breathe...is this how you should feel after you lost your battle against loneliness?....
i might have taken a beating today..i might have been defeated...i might have lost the battle today...but this doesnt mean that i will lose the war against the omnipresent loneliness...hopefully i can have my heart set on the right path and win the war against the omnipotent loneliness...god..please bless me with all your strength so that i have a strong heart to prevail..Suffering from loneliness trauma...
Joshy

Creative...

saw this in one of my classroom...its the freaking wall...but some smart ass student went and scrape the paint off and wrote there lazy painter...haha....i must say..the guy who did this is a freaking creative genius...

Randomness...

tomorrow signifies the end of my trimester break....its a bittersweet feeling...feeling bitter cause i wont be able to sleep till LATE in the morning anymore...sweet cause finally i wont be rotting at home anymore..haha....results wont be release till next thurs...gosh...its nerve wrecking...the wait is killing me...i just hope i can get it over with as soon as possible...i checked mmls and i already got to know my malaysian studies assignment topic...and trust me..i have no idea what the heck they are askin for...=(....hopefully the malaysian studies lecturer wont be as bad as i heard..been reading a lot lately and found some really nice materials to blog about...will unveil more as time passes...haha...ugly betty is back!...season 4 rocks to the max...cant wait for the next episode...

Reflection...

yes...i know..i havent been blogging for a very long time..reason being...laziness got the better of me..but guess what...im back...and hopefully i will be back for good..haha...say NO to laziness..><...well..since i havent blog in quite a while..therefore i thought of doing a reflection post on what had happened in the past few weeks/months...
=>today is the day i decided to hit the pause button in my life to see how far i have come....

• first to kick things off i think i will start with my studies...a year ago..i entered engineering course with the hope that its the right choice for me...i was uncertain and afraid with the choice i made..reason being i was green and i was a novice with no experience in life or what so ever...i based my decision on the wish that and i can do well in the future...after a year of studying...i think im doing ok...im still happy with my choice..but not so sure with my major...but overall i think im doing quite ok...but im still trying to do better...
• after a year of struggling..i finally got my own car...its not new...but that is not the main point..the point is that i have a car..MINE..at last...
  
• despite the fact that i said i wanted to change my phone for 2 consecutive years...im still using my N70 after 4 long years...guess i just have to be patient and wait for the right phone to come along....
  
• i finally did it..i broke free from my so called comfort zone and made new friends in MMU...yes..i have to say..its a real character building experience..people in MMU are a collection of different characters from all walks of life...you may get along with some and you will despise some no matter how much you try....
• im taking this chance to say im truly blessed and happy that im getting closer with some of them...and hopefully its not a one sided feeling...and im sorry for some of the foolish things i did in the past...as i can be a bit bitter as things get tough in the past...but its a part of growing...i guess we can only truly appreciate ones company after feeling the loneliness without it...and after overcoming a great deal of obstacles im blessed to still be friends with some of them...
• i cant deny the fact that theres a lot of drama lately...all i can hope for is just that things will be better as time passes and we should be glad that we are given the chance to invest in more relationship....

i can still keep going but i think nobody is going to read a long post with all words...so i think im going call it a day....sem break is finally coming to an end and results will be released soon...gosh..im nervous...all i can do is just to hope for the best and everyone will be happy...

Bless all,
Josh

Hong Yuen

hehe..today im going to blog about someone...reason being its their birthday..so i thought why not just write something about them..lets see...he is a man of many talents...he is a lot of things....first off
he is a very strong swimmer...

he is a swimming coach...

he is also a water polo player....

an achiever....

a former PBSM...

a martial art pro?...

a dancer....

a snorkeler...

an OC...

a CLS addict....

a SS king...

an emo-ist...

a retard....

everybody's friend(even the ang mo's)...

and many more...yes...thats right..its none other than Lim Hong Yuen...even though he took up the name Alex awhile back..but im still not used to it..so you will always be Hong Yuen to me..haha...as i were saying..he is a man of many talents and abilities...but none of that actually matters...cause what really does is that he is my friend....

p/s: hong yuen..i cnt believe im actually using this photo..zzz..

today...23rd of September is his birthday...and due to his BUSY schedule..this was the only thing that we manage to do...birthday boy...jas and i went to sushi king and had lunch there...

yes...i have to admit there were ups and there were downs in our friendship..but what makes a friendship strong is the ability to prevail despite all that have happened...so if you have someone who you are still friends with after you've been through so much together...don let it go to waste...appreciate them....pick up the phone..call them or just send a simple sms...you might just make their day....so this one goes out to you..thanks for being my friend and being there when it counts....may this friendship last and blossom more with time...all the best and have a nice birthday...and also...good luck in exam...XD...

Joshy Kool
signing out...