Loneliness...

loneliness...

the world's most cruel method of torture ever....here i am...sitting in my dark room with nothing else except my desktop in front of me..but i have nothing to do...and no one to talk to...its rather sad actually...despite the fact that i have some matters up in my mind..i have no one to share them with...after some serious consideration of who to text and all..i just notice..i have NO ONE....all that im capable of doing is to count the letters of loneliness....pronounce the word...enunciate it...stress the syllables..and feel them roll off your tongue....

how do you describe it..hmm...the feeling of you against the whole world...i dont know how to describe them in the simple form of words..but all i can say is that its a strong feeling...a strong feeling of uneasiness that can cause any ordinary man to crumble in its presence...im an ordinary man that is struggling..trying not to give in to the malicious loneliness..but somehow today i was defeated...i lost the battle to this loneliness and im forced to deal with the consequences...when it appears victorious...loneliness brags and boast about its victory...and when it does...it feels like a heavy weight has just been dropped on top of your chest...you feel that its very difficult to breathe...is this how you should feel after you lost your battle against loneliness?....
i might have taken a beating today..i might have been defeated...i might have lost the battle today...but this doesnt mean that i will lose the war against the omnipresent loneliness...hopefully i can have my heart set on the right path and win the war against the omnipotent loneliness...god..please bless me with all your strength so that i have a strong heart to prevail..Suffering from loneliness trauma...
Joshy